My Walk to Work

I have a Walk to Work now. This has me tickled pink. I'm seriously giddy about it. That should be an indication about how much I like my job so far. In any event, every morning as I walk through my local crackhead park, there are about a dozen old Chinese folks doing tai chi. I have to walk right by them every day, and there's always a little voice in the back of my head that encourages me, strongly, to join in. "go on," it says, "do some tai chi. You know you want to. It's for your health." That voice has a point to make, but there is a much louder voice saying, "Don't be that guy." The "guy" in question is the one white kid that thinks he's Asian. No matter how sincerely you may love Tai Chi, being the lone slice of white-bread in a multi-grain loaf isn't cool no matter how you stack it. The white folks will think you're lame and the Asians will think that you're really lame. Being "that guy" is like proclaiming loudly, "Why yes it has been years since I've had sex. How did you know?"

I have enough things in my life that discourage the ladies - a videogame addiction, cooking with garlic, love of action movies, bitch-wrists, two blogs, a coca-cola fixation, a warped sense of humour, irregular shaving habits, lack of confidence, lack of backbone, lack of income, my love of Japanes speed-metal, my love of Scandanavian punk-metal, a bad haircut, professional wrestling, a tragically nerdy life history, a serious jones for political philosophy, a pathological hatred for Karl Marx, a pathological hatred for Fred Durst, puritanical views on grammar, puritanical views on kung-fu movies, puritanical views on website coding, excessive usage of poly-sylabic words like puritanical, the fact that I code websites, the fact that I watch cartoons, my lust for science, my fascination with (but not practice of) complex theoretical math, snoring - I don't need Tai Chi on top of that.

While my prospects with the fairer sex seem grim, the professional world is being kind to me. Work has been great, and I was excited about coming in this morning. I like my job. I'm also writing this post from work, which says something about my current workload. Life is good.