The Hell is Wrong With You?
I've tried to be patient with you, Stupid Canadians, but apparently my patience is only giving you reason to believe you can get away with the stupid shit you've been writing to me. It's time that I took the kid-gloves off and gave you the thrashing you deserve.
To the old man from BC who claims that homosexuality causes AIDS:
NO! No, no, no. Seriously? What the hell is wrong with you? Just because you use the term "pH" in your letter it does not mean that I will think you know what you are talking about. You could have got that off a deodorant commercial! Plus, your theory that HIV didn't come from monkeys in Africa, but spontaneously generates whenever people have anal sex assumes that nobody went down the dirt road before 1975. I don't know how much you know about Classical Greece, or even Contemporary Pornography, but the usage of the bum as it was never intended is by no means a recent event or confined to the gay community.
I can't assume that you know much about chemistry or biology, since you actually wrote this letter, so let me tell you a few things: first, spontaneous generation was disproven about 300 years ago. I don't care how old you are, you're not THAT old. Second, have you ever seen a pH reaction? We do this in elementary school these days, but take some baking soda and some vinegar and dump them together. That is what a pH reaction looks like. If that was happening inside of your ass I think that you'd notice and perhaps decide that anal sex just isn't for you. Third, your theory supposes that everyone that has anal sex has HIV. Apparently you've never lived in Ottawa. There are many gay people here that are not dead. In fact, a considerable portion of the staffers on the Hill, the people that are opening your letter, are gay and would likely have a lot to say about your theory. The moral of the story: elementary school science is a good thing to learn, and you should always consider your audience when writing anything.
To the Religious Conservative who claims that marriage was created "by God."
Have you even read the Bible? Maybe you could show me the part where God indicates that he requires a legally-binding ceremony to allow people to bump uglies under his sight. Unless you're hiding a couple commandments somewhere that we just haven't heard of, there's just no spot in the Bible in which God expresses any kind of interest in weddings. You can infer things from biology if you want, but that's pretty hypocritical. Darwin infered things from biology and you sure don't like him much. We can also infer from biology that it's a bad idea to have sex with your parents, but that happens a fair deal in the Bible.
By the way, have you even heard of the separation of the church and state? Most countries agree that it's a pretty good thing. Except Iran of course, and we all agree that nothing you socially and politically conservative, patriotic, and Judeo-Christian people would disagree with has ever come out of Iran.
The only good argument that I've heard against gay-marriage was coming from a person who was, himself, gay. He wasn't so arrogant to assume that God cares about the laws of men, he just said that it was pretty jerkish of the gay community to go so totally against years of tradition and piss off a lot of people just so they can be legally recognized. Eat that Bible thumpers! This AIDS-making, sin-against-God of a human just made your points better than you could ever hope to. Choke on the irony!
To the guy that claims to have a free-energy machine:
I, and many others on the Hill, have taken highschool physics courses. You're fooling nobody. If Isaac Newton were here he would kick your ass. Quit sending us letters.
To the old man from BC who claims that homosexuality causes AIDS:
NO! No, no, no. Seriously? What the hell is wrong with you? Just because you use the term "pH" in your letter it does not mean that I will think you know what you are talking about. You could have got that off a deodorant commercial! Plus, your theory that HIV didn't come from monkeys in Africa, but spontaneously generates whenever people have anal sex assumes that nobody went down the dirt road before 1975. I don't know how much you know about Classical Greece, or even Contemporary Pornography, but the usage of the bum as it was never intended is by no means a recent event or confined to the gay community.
I can't assume that you know much about chemistry or biology, since you actually wrote this letter, so let me tell you a few things: first, spontaneous generation was disproven about 300 years ago. I don't care how old you are, you're not THAT old. Second, have you ever seen a pH reaction? We do this in elementary school these days, but take some baking soda and some vinegar and dump them together. That is what a pH reaction looks like. If that was happening inside of your ass I think that you'd notice and perhaps decide that anal sex just isn't for you. Third, your theory supposes that everyone that has anal sex has HIV. Apparently you've never lived in Ottawa. There are many gay people here that are not dead. In fact, a considerable portion of the staffers on the Hill, the people that are opening your letter, are gay and would likely have a lot to say about your theory. The moral of the story: elementary school science is a good thing to learn, and you should always consider your audience when writing anything.
To the Religious Conservative who claims that marriage was created "by God."
Have you even read the Bible? Maybe you could show me the part where God indicates that he requires a legally-binding ceremony to allow people to bump uglies under his sight. Unless you're hiding a couple commandments somewhere that we just haven't heard of, there's just no spot in the Bible in which God expresses any kind of interest in weddings. You can infer things from biology if you want, but that's pretty hypocritical. Darwin infered things from biology and you sure don't like him much. We can also infer from biology that it's a bad idea to have sex with your parents, but that happens a fair deal in the Bible.
By the way, have you even heard of the separation of the church and state? Most countries agree that it's a pretty good thing. Except Iran of course, and we all agree that nothing you socially and politically conservative, patriotic, and Judeo-Christian people would disagree with has ever come out of Iran.
The only good argument that I've heard against gay-marriage was coming from a person who was, himself, gay. He wasn't so arrogant to assume that God cares about the laws of men, he just said that it was pretty jerkish of the gay community to go so totally against years of tradition and piss off a lot of people just so they can be legally recognized. Eat that Bible thumpers! This AIDS-making, sin-against-God of a human just made your points better than you could ever hope to. Choke on the irony!
To the guy that claims to have a free-energy machine:
I, and many others on the Hill, have taken highschool physics courses. You're fooling nobody. If Isaac Newton were here he would kick your ass. Quit sending us letters.
posted by B-Boy Nothing at 4:30 PM
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