Eight Minutes on Google

I was having breakfast at my local greasy spoon today when I heard Meat Loaf's operatic-rock-opus "Paradise by the Dashboard Lights" playing on the local rock radio. Have you ever heard "Paradise by the Dashboard Lights?" It is eight and a half minutes long. There are some who say that the ideal length for a radio song is two minutes and twenty seconds. That means you could have three normal-length songs in the time it takes to play "Paradise."

What else could you do in that time? Let's ask Google.

- go on a date in Edmonton
- lose two pounds a week
- Walk from 7 University Ave. to the University Center at the U of Guelph
- take a survey
- eat 67 hamburgers
- get a university degree
- get media coverage for your humanitarian disaster
- watch the heavy-handed and cliched start of a documentary on Hanson
- get hit by a tsunami
- watch the history of the internet in gif images (in true internet fashion, pretty much all content is objectionable, and I wouldn't have it any other way.)
- learn HTML
- rid yourself of erectile dysfunction
- sell out the rugby world cup
- screen new clients
- fail to get Radiohead tickets
- get an ambulance
- make a disgusting looking pizza
- meditate
- die
- improve your PR department
- present your paper, Frederick
- improve your golf swing
- travel from the sun to the earth at light-speed
- find happiness (or, alternatively, get cheated out of ten bucks on a crappy book)
- ride the train to Falmer Station from Brighton
- put on your makeup
- impress the whole world

All things considered, Meat Loaf was eight minutes well spent.