Fences do not make good neighbours
The fact that I was focused on tying my shoe, waiting for a bus, and rocking out to Sleater-Kinney on my iPod should have given you warning that I was a busy man. My plate is obviously full, and I cannot afford any distractions. That should have been your first indication that I did not want to buy your stolen X-Box 360. No, I don't want to buy your stolen laptop either. In fact, guy on Bank street, I do not want to buy any of your stolen goods now or ever. Savvy?
Partially, it's because I don't trust you. Being a man obviously lacking in hygiene and employed at a bus-stop does not give you much credibility as an electronics salesman. I don't have much confidence in the quality of your merchandise. Plus, what kind of warranty and service plan do you offer? None? Sorry, it's after-purchase customer care that makes repeat shoppers. That's why the Staples down the street does good business, and you are selling (or in this case not selling) stolen goods in front of a gay porn store.
I also disagree with your business on a moral level. Do you wonder why Bank street has a reputation as being scummy? It's not just the punk rock scenesters walking around with their ass hanging out of their pants and very openly drinking from 40s of cheap beer at two in the afternoon, it is also you, selling stolen electronics in front of the gay porn store. Also on the moral level, I am a laptop owner, and I would not take kindly to my laptop - the closest thing I may ever have to a child - being stolen and sold on Bank street. Simply stolen isn't so bad. Stolen and sold on Bank by you is quite frankly insulting. I won't support that.
Most importantly, I refuse to buy your stolen electronics because it offends me on an economic level. Lets look at some numbers. These laptops and 360's that you're selling are obviously not going for in-store prices, otherwise where is the inscentive to buy hot merchandise? Moreover, I can assume that the laptops are not current models and haven't had the best of care. Plus, you have to be selling them cheaper than pawn-shop prices, otherwise you'd just be selling them there. Now, with tech prices as fickle as they are, you're going to be lucky to get $300 bucks for a laptop, and $200 for a 360. I'm going to be generous and assume that on a given work-day, you'll move maybe $500 bucks of stolen gear. That's gross, of course, not net. While I was waiting for my bus I noticed you confering with a more intelligent looking and better dressed associate, which of course means that you're not a private businessman, you're an employee. Since illegal opperations generally work on a comission basis, you won't be working on an hourly rate, you'll be getting a percentage. Given that you're on the bottom of the totem pole, I'm going to assume you aren't getting the big money here. It would be overly generous to assume that you're going to get a 50% cut of the profits. I'm going to ballpark your estimated daily earnings at $200/day.
So that's dollars, lets look at time. When I got on the bus around noon, you were there fencing stolen electronics. When I got off at 4, you were still there. It doesn't look like you're doing brisk business, so I think it is reasonable to assume that you will put in a eight hour work day today if you want to make your potential maximum earnings of $200. This rings in your current career at $25/hour. The minimum wage rate in Ontario as of this moment is $7.75/hour, so thus far it looks like this isn't a bad idea, but wait. We're not done yet.
Fencing stolen goods in front of a gay porn store is not a very dignified career. You're like a prostitute but with other people's merchandise instead of your own. This ranks you somewhat below them, because you, personally, don't have anything to offer, just the fruits of other people's labour. Some people would say that you can't put a price on having your personal dignity removed like that, but I'm going to ballpark it at 10 bucks an hour, and that's a modest estimate. That's just for the loss of dignity, mind you. Tack that on to the minimum wage, bringing the value of the legitimate work you are not doing to $17.75 an hour. The gap is begining to close.
Your business is going to be dependent on the amount of stolen goods you have to sell, which won't let you work every day. Plus, you can't over-work your turf otherwise you get trouble from law enforcement. I'm going to maximize your number of earning days per week to three. Three days earning $200/day brings you to $600 for the week. Compared with working a full time job for minimum wage, corrected to take into account dignity, you'd be looking at earning $710.
Now of coure, working a legitimate job means that the government is going to take its due, whereas working illegitimately in front of a gay porn store doesn't show up on a T4 slip. However, the fact that you have to daily avoid the law enforcement that my tax dollars pay for puts us back on equal footing. I'm going to assume that not having to worry about the cops is relatively equalivent to paying taxes. Also, your job offers no benefits, and is likely to be a liability to your health. Sooner or later you're going to sell a laptop to the guy you stole it from, and I don't want to be you when that happens. All things considered, selling stolen electronics on the street is not an economically wise method of subsistence.
So, hot-electronics guy, this is why I am not going to buy your X-Box. If I buy it, you will never learn.
Partially, it's because I don't trust you. Being a man obviously lacking in hygiene and employed at a bus-stop does not give you much credibility as an electronics salesman. I don't have much confidence in the quality of your merchandise. Plus, what kind of warranty and service plan do you offer? None? Sorry, it's after-purchase customer care that makes repeat shoppers. That's why the Staples down the street does good business, and you are selling (or in this case not selling) stolen goods in front of a gay porn store.
I also disagree with your business on a moral level. Do you wonder why Bank street has a reputation as being scummy? It's not just the punk rock scenesters walking around with their ass hanging out of their pants and very openly drinking from 40s of cheap beer at two in the afternoon, it is also you, selling stolen electronics in front of the gay porn store. Also on the moral level, I am a laptop owner, and I would not take kindly to my laptop - the closest thing I may ever have to a child - being stolen and sold on Bank street. Simply stolen isn't so bad. Stolen and sold on Bank by you is quite frankly insulting. I won't support that.
Most importantly, I refuse to buy your stolen electronics because it offends me on an economic level. Lets look at some numbers. These laptops and 360's that you're selling are obviously not going for in-store prices, otherwise where is the inscentive to buy hot merchandise? Moreover, I can assume that the laptops are not current models and haven't had the best of care. Plus, you have to be selling them cheaper than pawn-shop prices, otherwise you'd just be selling them there. Now, with tech prices as fickle as they are, you're going to be lucky to get $300 bucks for a laptop, and $200 for a 360. I'm going to be generous and assume that on a given work-day, you'll move maybe $500 bucks of stolen gear. That's gross, of course, not net. While I was waiting for my bus I noticed you confering with a more intelligent looking and better dressed associate, which of course means that you're not a private businessman, you're an employee. Since illegal opperations generally work on a comission basis, you won't be working on an hourly rate, you'll be getting a percentage. Given that you're on the bottom of the totem pole, I'm going to assume you aren't getting the big money here. It would be overly generous to assume that you're going to get a 50% cut of the profits. I'm going to ballpark your estimated daily earnings at $200/day.
So that's dollars, lets look at time. When I got on the bus around noon, you were there fencing stolen electronics. When I got off at 4, you were still there. It doesn't look like you're doing brisk business, so I think it is reasonable to assume that you will put in a eight hour work day today if you want to make your potential maximum earnings of $200. This rings in your current career at $25/hour. The minimum wage rate in Ontario as of this moment is $7.75/hour, so thus far it looks like this isn't a bad idea, but wait. We're not done yet.
Fencing stolen goods in front of a gay porn store is not a very dignified career. You're like a prostitute but with other people's merchandise instead of your own. This ranks you somewhat below them, because you, personally, don't have anything to offer, just the fruits of other people's labour. Some people would say that you can't put a price on having your personal dignity removed like that, but I'm going to ballpark it at 10 bucks an hour, and that's a modest estimate. That's just for the loss of dignity, mind you. Tack that on to the minimum wage, bringing the value of the legitimate work you are not doing to $17.75 an hour. The gap is begining to close.
Your business is going to be dependent on the amount of stolen goods you have to sell, which won't let you work every day. Plus, you can't over-work your turf otherwise you get trouble from law enforcement. I'm going to maximize your number of earning days per week to three. Three days earning $200/day brings you to $600 for the week. Compared with working a full time job for minimum wage, corrected to take into account dignity, you'd be looking at earning $710.
Now of coure, working a legitimate job means that the government is going to take its due, whereas working illegitimately in front of a gay porn store doesn't show up on a T4 slip. However, the fact that you have to daily avoid the law enforcement that my tax dollars pay for puts us back on equal footing. I'm going to assume that not having to worry about the cops is relatively equalivent to paying taxes. Also, your job offers no benefits, and is likely to be a liability to your health. Sooner or later you're going to sell a laptop to the guy you stole it from, and I don't want to be you when that happens. All things considered, selling stolen electronics on the street is not an economically wise method of subsistence.
So, hot-electronics guy, this is why I am not going to buy your X-Box. If I buy it, you will never learn.
posted by B-Boy Nothing at 1:29 PM
3 Comments:
nice little analysis there evan. i like how you break everything down!
-Amber
you should slip "hot-electronics guy" your blog address, have him surf over on some stolen wireless internet connection to see your reasoning!
well played... :)
v
Hot-electronics guy is probably addicted to substances that preclude him earning a living at a normal job.
More importantly, he is addicted to living on the edge - he savors being always one step away from calamity and always on the verge of the big score. He gets far more satisfaction from hustling hot goods than he would from earning the same money legitimately. The very aspects of his activity that make it repugnant to you are to him the main attraction.
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