GQ: Iraq Edition

Poor Saddam Hussein. Former president, former dictator, fomer human rights abuser, former leader of an Axis-of-Evil nation - it seems like all of Saddam's accomplishments are in the past tense. That's a sad thing for anyone to comprehend, especially for someone as egomanical as Mr. Hussein. No wonder he's rockin' the mic so hard down at his genocide trial; he knows that he's got to cling to every last minute of fame while he can, because when this is over so is his fifteen minutes (or in this case, fifteen years) of fame are up.

Or are they?

Saddam, buddy, listen: it's not too late to start fresh. You can still be a hero. You can yet have the glamourous, movie star life that you always wanted. Turn over a new leaf. You have a bright future ahead of you.

Two words, Saddam: Men's Fashion.

I know it's not very presidential, but hear me out. Have you seen some of your recent glam shots? Pretty fly. The classic pinstripe suit, the pocket square, the salt and pepper beard (but not Salt 'n' Peppa, cuz he ain't talkin' 'bout sex, baby), and the centerpiece: the tieless open-collar shirt all combine to give off the dignified gentleman/bad-boy look that you've been living for your whole life. I don't know if it's you or the Iraqi military that is picking your wardrobe these days, but they're doing one hell of a job.

Let's get down to brass tacks here. The 60-plus men's fashion scene has been sadly neglected for a long time. They need a face. They need a leader. They need Saddam. The "Saddam Look" is going to be the new hotness for grandfathers the world over in 2006, I guarantee it. It's got style, it's got class, and it commands respect. Consider putting out a fall lineup. Saddam, you're in on the ground floor of an absolutely timeless look, it's time to cash in. It's not too late to give something back to the world.

And sorry everybody, I had to do it.