The Wonders of Unemployment

Did everyone have a good holiday season? I sure did. The story of the season is that my parents - people noted for being safe, slow, and practical - bought matching his-and-hers snowmobiles. Wicked, high-powered, kill-yourelf fast snowmobiles. I, being a man of science, had to test them to their limits. I found that the limitations that are relevant in snowmobiling are not the ones on the machine, but the ones on the rider. They can go a lot faster than anyone should be comfortable moving on one of those things. They are a lot more durable than the human body (a lesson that I learned personally and painfully). They require 110% of your focused attention to opperate safely, which is unfortunate, given that the majority of the people riding them barely have 60% of their attention to devote to anything at the best of times. Presuming that they're sober, of course. The fact that Saskatchewan does not have far, far more snowmobile related fatalities than it already proves once again in my mind that the entire province has survived to this point on luck, quick reflexes, and the ability to take severe blows to the head with grace.

If you follow my life, you'll know that I'm currently unemployed. This doesn't really concern me, but my family history of alzheimers, arthiritis, parkinsons, cancer, and the cornucopia of other biological ticking time bombs present in my genes don't really concern me either. Velociraptors do, however, keep me awake at nights. I think I need to re-examine my priorities. In any case, I have quite happily found myself with a lot of time on my hands. I've been doing a lot of home improvements, and it's actually been pretty fun. I'm a big fan of do-it-yourself, and now that I live a block away from a home-hardware, I've been enjoying the excuse to buy tools. I never thought that I'd consider a pipe wrench a must-own tool, but I do now. Not only did it allow me to install a new shower head, it gave me a critical edge today against a beligerent screw. I remember trash-talking the screw as I went for the wrench. When I prevailed, there was more trash talking, and perhaps a little dancing. It was not my most proud moment, but when you're unemployed you take whatever small victories you can get.

As an aside, the blinds I installed today are perfectly centered and level. My closet opens better than ever. The new showerhead massages without leaking. I feel good about myself. I think this is what being a man feels like.